projection.

a few homemade cards that will be sent to friends.
i wish i was going with them.

xxx

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Gracias, Luci

by Sacha Amaral, writer/director/producer

I had the pleasure of living with some amazing people while on my sojourn, one of whom asked me to help translate the subtitles for his movie. Truly an amazing person and great budding filmmaker.

Shout out to you, too, Nubia!

le clic b&w

the usurpation of free will & autonomy.

and times i wonder
what it would
be
like
to go back as i
was.
staring mildly into extra-
ordinary
constellations, that write our
destination.
so what’s the point
in planning?
what’s the point
of it all?

this is what i would tell her:

you never know
when you’re gonna go.

things seem to happen
when you are least looking.

fantasy stripped from vision,
bank accounts put on freeze.
inflation
stuns the
deflated.
and one realizes how little choice one really has.
apathy turns to wit
and laziness into spirituality.
laissez, laissez
let the powers that be do their deed,
parce ce que, c’est la vie.

te amo, Buenos Aires. te amo.

streaming.

**Disclaimer: This is a random act of streaming my consciousness (or lack of it).**

Today, I was called off for my shift at work. It is beautiful, I thought, perhaps I will go for a walk. I am subletting my friends’ place at Huron and Dupont. I thought a pass through the Mink Mile would be worth the nostalgic gander. Off I go, hi ho, hi ho…

The kids were in school, the young adults, too. It was bright, it was blue, but make way for hazy faces. I walk by old buildings laces with vines that have yet to use their leaves. Inside, they are taken by faculty and fraternity and I get a little palpitated on how I think or feel about the whole thing. For a moment, I feel cheated of an experience that I rejected from the beginning. In class, I remember being approached by a sorority girl wondering if I wanted to join. They would have monthly socials and secrecy and dependency and who knows what more. They would mingle with the opposites and I couldn’t think of anything other than Eyes Wide Shut or The Skulls. But, I guess I will never know because I said, no. It didn’t fit with how I wanted to be perceived or how I saw myself: someone who fiercely tries to remain independent and away from it all. Passive-Observant. Non-participant. Stranger to it all.

It all. Often I find myself, much like many others, trying to define it or at least justify some of it. It all, is that very motivating force that guides us into directions, to find meaning, to understand-ology (the study of understanding? Perhaps.)

The neuroses inside tells me there is nothing to understand other than how we all figure out survival. To struggle, just so we get those glimpses of something magical, inspirational, conquering the grand things because only we can do that. They, the little creatures, cannot. 

My friend told me of a youtube video that has a dog driving a car. After some very quick research, I found that there are three dogs that have been taught to drive a car in New Zealand as part of a program to prove that rescue dogs are smart, therefore adoptable. My goodness, Porter the beardie-cross is divine. He looks so relaxed and at ease, like he could be driving us to a soccer game or piano lessons. 

Old dogs learning new tricks, just so someone will pick them up and tell them they are loved. My goodness, my goodness, it all seems relative and frighteningly familiar. Perhaps, all that we do really is for the sake of a handshake and a hug. Perhaps we should give out more of those. 

oshawa

new horizons from old perspectives.

once, many years ago, i lived in suburbia. i never wanted to leave, not because i thought it was ideal, but because i didn’t want to leave my friends.

you’ll make new friends.

things do not change, they get easier as you realize your self in all of it. now, looking grey upon grey, graffiti-born transportable tubes, i find solace in silence atop double-decker trains.

the brilliance of intransience.

hullo winter // hullo you

Despedida, Thursday night (February 14th, of all nights).
Friends (old / new) came together (://to-get-her).
Seven o’clock (in the morning) choripan and two hours sleep and party clean up and full day lay-down/pack-up, because here I go, again.
Jiggity jig.

A friend brought rueditas (pizza-flavoured wheels) and another brought white wine. Both brought friendship.

Left with the Tienda de leon shuttle for EZE and a 6:59am flight to Lima-San Salvador-Toronto.

Snowstorm had hit along with arctic wind.

Our luggage was delayed.

Pops helped load the car and handed me my Smartphone.

This was what I saw.

home.

hey!

i’m home. everything is so big.

xxx

roll out: winter BA

Part of the adventure takes just a day or two to unravel (or three months). This is winter in Buenos Aires: still green, a little crisp, and sunshine. Dream. Like.

A few plants that reminded me of home and I often look at them when homesick while listening to the CBC online…

A butcher of rare meats that we got to interview. He was very nice, yet very assertive. The sign above says “HAY YACARE” which means “THERE IS ALLIGATOR MEAT”. I did not try it…

These are the wispy plants that cover the ecological reserve in the neighbourhood, Puerto Madero. There use to be a big river running between the peninsula and the mainland, but now it’s just rushes. We also found out that the peninsula was created from the rubble of tearing down a bunch of buildings and dumping them just off the coast. What a crazy place…

xxx

b.

waiting.

Patience is a virtue.

And then the pilot light goes off.

***

Waiting for rolls to be developed.

Miss youz.

xxx