excerpt: existential moment of girl
11/01/2010 § 1 Comment
This is an excerpt from a story I have been working on. This story is a fictional, semi-autobiographical musing of how and why I am in Argentina:
“Instead of adding my experiences with him as new parts to my self, I began to believe our times we shared were my self: I began to think that without him, I was lost and unable to be my self. How foolish?
Why couldn’t I just absorb these new tastes and ways of thinking, why could they not be mine, too?
So what if I liked skinny jeans and swooping bangs, Cormac McCarthy and The Squid and the Whale, listening to International Players Anthem (I Choose You) and drinking Molson Stock Ale? These were things that I learned I liked, he was the one who introduced me to these things, they didn’t change who I was or who I am. Instead, they added to it, enhanced it.
I am more my self that I ever was because of him, and I have nothing to get existential about. Of course, now, some of my everyday habits, idiosyncracies, morning dance routines remind me of him, but instead of sorrow, I feel gratitude. In my mind, I thank him for helping me understand my self that little bit more.”