a much needed day

19/01/2010 § 1 Comment

Sometimes, feeling alone can get a little lonely. That aside, I had a much needed talk with the moms who put my wandering will at ease. It always seems as though life throws stuff right at you, curveballs or whatever you want to call them, and its always nice to have some back-up.

Not only did I have a nice 15-minute conversation with her, but two people, very dear to my heart, sent me emails today just updating me on life in general. One lives in Vancouver and is from the Toronto area, the other lives in Toronto and from the Vancouver area. It struck me as odd that this happened today. Perhaps there is something bigger out there afterall. Nevertheless, it was a real eye-opener on how fascinatingly beautiful the human condition is. True, we may be creatures of discomfort, always looking for other pastures to munch on. We travel, we get our hearts broken, we make friends and enemies alike. All in the perpetual pursuit of happiness. What these two remarkable ladies found was a new home, a place to lay roots and become even stronger than they already are. So, it is true, that you can find your niche and grow in it.

That has been my battle ever since I can remember: an urging restlessness of curiosity. I wanted to taste the other pastures and see if I found it a) more nutricious and b) yummier. I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter right now, I am still able to survive.

While I am here, trying to absorb every opportunity I can to enjoy the killer heat and glorious sun, I know, deep down, that my heart lives in the city. It’s not just the convenience or the endearing nature of all the cynical people, but a feeling I get when I wake up there. Like one of my friends recently said, she wanted to be able to wake up everyday with a smile on her face. That she found, and that she is living right now. Maybe it was because she had traveled so much, or maybe it’s because she’s got a good head on her shoulders, but she has taught me one important thing to remember: your happiness goes with you wherever you are, you just got to find a place to wake up to.

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§ One Response to a much needed day

  • mom85 says:

    Humans always survive, its how you live that you must reconcile yourself to. There is a restlessness to you, & that’s why you seek out what alternatives are out there, even though you don’t like change, the travel & people you meet will help you decide what you can be happy with. It is alway amazing to me that no matter where you go in this world, humans are all the same, & yet different, gives you a different perspective on life. You are a product of your society as well, I think a lot of the quest for “greener” pastures is the fight within of what you’ve learned & how to reconcile it to what you think is “right”. In the end only you can decide where to make that stand, you’re still in the wishy washy state. Listen to your heart, mind, and then make a stand. There is nothing written in stone that says you cannot change it, if you think its a mistake later on. Mistakes are learning experiences too, stop trying for perfection, not humanly possible, that’s why life is a journey of ups, downs & just is.

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