18/03/2010 § 2 Comments
Friend Requests, Event Invitations and Mafia Wars are realities of today´s day and age. Since the advent of facebook, we are able to stay in touch with long-lost childhood friends and random acquaintances. More and more people are becoming and staying connected. Sometimes, a little too connected.
Recently, I have noticed that it´s difficult to keep own´s private life out of the public eye. It´s as if facebook gives us our own tabloid page about, well, our own lives.
Scandal! Jill and Joe are attending Jeff´s party, but Jeff´s ex, Joan, is not.
And so it goes.
However, facebook is now a fact, much like a cellpone or a computer. It just is. You can try to fight it, steep into the dark-ages, — which is nice for quality time spent with paperbacks and records — but if you don´t keep up, you will be left behind.
Here is my piece of advice: Approach facebook as a tool to keep connected, not as a gossipy grapevine. It´s worse than the childhood game of telephone. Telephone was fun and innocent with the message all scrambled at the end. Virtual grapevines create high schoold flashbacks with pureéd dog shit at the end of it.
I have seen some pretty heartwrenching things that had to be endured on facebook, personally and for friends. Questions insidiously wiggle inside your brain, the wheels start turning and then you´re doomed. I have seen some of my girls (and guys) get really hurt because of a wall-post here, an uninvited event there. How do we get around this?
Well, for a moment, I thought about deleting my facebook altogether. Then I asked myself, for what? Because one person was getting to me? I would lose contacts, old and new, that I have no other way of getting a hold of. Then it occurred to me that the solution is in the hands of the individual. I am going to say this in its own paragraph because I think it is very important:
If you can´t keep your personal life private, then have the courage and integrity to state its publicity.
I have seen some angry ex-lovers and feuding friends find refuge in regret and resentment because one of the parties was not honest about what was happening. If someone really cares for another person and wants to salvage any chance of friendship, buck up the balls and be honest instead of openly hiding the truth. It´s cowardly.
Not only is it cowardly, but hurtful. Truthfully, if someone is going to be so public about something very awkward and painful, it hurts less just to be upfront. This goes for everything: Friendships, relationships, deleting friends unknowingly, taking off your relationship status without discussing the terms, making public events then only inviting certain friends.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
High School Reunion. Every fucking day.
So, facebook is a great tool, keeping everyone connected. Like I said, sometimes, a little too connected.