26/04/2010 § 1 Comment
It comes as no surprise that the past couple of days have been a real struggle, emotionally and physically, trying to keep up with everything that I had pushed “pause” on. I, with a little help from my friends, have had to wake-up, stop pressing the “snooze” button and pull myself out of my proverbial slumber. It’s never too late.
Last night, I asked a friend if life scared him because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, because, ultimately, things will change and there is nothing he can do about it. I expected him to say, of course. Instead, he said he wasn’t afraid because, although it sometimes hurts, change is a good thing, it makes us stronger. Such a simple sentence can pack a powerful punch — the good punch. A punch that I really needed to hear.
My life in Buenos Aires, for the near 6 months that I have been here, felt like a dream, like I was floating amidst the clouds watching the world (reality) go on below me. Sounds transcendental — and it could have been if I decided to step off from time to time — but existing in the clouds is for the dead, not the living. I felt that I was more of a spectator in box-seats, protected by glass or a clear sheet of plastic so that I could watch reality but not really play with it. I made mistakes, I acted selfish, I became so self-involved that I forgot I was a social creature who needed real, true, tangible, emotional human interaction. Such is the twisting path that life throws us but we find, in the end, that the most difficult path is the one worth taking.
That was the point our conversation drew from: mistakes, bumps in the road, twists and turns, heartache and pain, all of which, if you are true to yourself, will lead to growth.
It may have been a lesson learned late, but life does not deal in perfect-timing according to the individual’s schedule. Life likes to play hardball, to throw you a curve, to push your limits to the bounds of existential reasoning and then show you, even just a glimpse, that it is worth living.
No matter what happens, no matter who comes and who goes, in the end, at the very end, I have faith that I will see its worth.
See you soon, Toronto.