create your space

07/06/2010 § Leave a comment

When things come together, things are not falling to pieces. Obviously.

So it is, now that I am getting established, redefining a niche that is so important to human functionality, that I find a tranquility that enlightens my mind and step. When one bounces, one moves forward more quickly.

As I explained to so many, living without a space to call one’s own can make one descend into dark corners. For some. Others enjoy living with their belongings in an arm’s grasp, finding the ground beneath their feet to be the anchor, their gesticulations enough wingspan to fly, the pulse of their heart the engine that powers them forward. I would like to think that this is the gift of humans, the don that drives us to explore.

Nevertheless, there is nothing like creating own’s own living space that allows one to breathe deeply and appreciate a moment. Cycling around the city in search of furniture, unpacking parcels, conversing over coffee in our own kitchen allows me to establish a sense of security to sooth an overactive brain.

Down south, moving from apartment to apartment, from beds of my unchoosing, art not of my taste slapped on the walls, music of my unpicking made for a volatile sense of self. I have always been a sponge, or a social chameleon, absorbing my surroundings without adding to them. Perhaps that is what happens when you opinionatedly indecisive.

My friends down south had to remind me that I, too, have something to offer others. Although I may not be able to draw a picture or write beautiful poetry or make melodies, I am able to offer my undivided attention. Part of that package is having ideas or solutions to problems that are presented as proverbs and aphorisms that I have formulated on a pensive, rainy day.

When I was a kid, my best subject was math and biology because it allowed me to come up with answers and to solve problems. What I learned from those subjects was not an affinity for numbers, but a formulaic approach to personal and societal situations. In a pinch, I will try my best to find an answer.

So it was, without a space to call my own, with coming back and trying to reestablish a flow, that my mind began to malfunction. The computer nearly crashed.

However, with this new space, literal and figurative, there is a shift in the way that I move. I am not a machine, but a human being. Although I can use my computer in my head for reconfiguration, ultimately it is my animal instinct located in my gut and my heart that push me past a cerebral purgatory. With a space to settle, my brain can stop analyzing disconnected data and let my sentient body enjoy creative collabos and food with friends. I need not worry where I will wander next because, for now, I am in a good space.

How right and necessary it is to have good people remind you to create your own space as soon as you can. The chaos of boxes and dirty laundry is a reflection and perpetuation of the anarchy within.

Now, I snuggle with Dave Eggers and Dividios ready to dive into something deep, yet enlightening. Profoundly into my soul I go.


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