a piece of paper.

02/02/2011 § Leave a comment

“We have a saying in Argentina,” a couple was fighting to my left,

“Never lose your horizon.”

She held her hand parallel to her eyes, her palm flattened and disappearing its profile.

Sometimes, we become pieces of paper, some more rigid than others, with illustrations or descriptions of who we believe we are.

To recycle paper, a factory will pulverize sheets into fine, round particles of powder (some floating into the air, disappearing completely), but enough necessary substance to recreate more blank pages.

There are two sides to a piece of paper and some carry the same properties, even though the lines may not match when holding it to the light. Some have different textures or colours on the opposing sides.

In a year, my plane was the equator. North of the Tropic of Capricorn to South of the Tropic of Cancer. Jumping from one side to other, a tenderness that I had kept a secret, sharing only to a few, began to leap from my centre. I think everyone does, but my whole life this softness made me very uncomfortable. I have always been uncomfortable with showing my molten cheese within. I always thought of myself as a practical person and emotionally-mute. So, some days I would try to bury the goo. Tough as dirt.

The plain and simple of the chaos in my soul was me trying to figure out how to unite two sides of my paper, not choosing a side, but becoming like J-E-L-L-O (soft, but strong). Still, when you learn that everything is not as it seems, you can’t help but feel a little pulverized. So it was, the cold wind from the North and the warm front from the South collided. The storm began.

To keep busy in Toronto, I learned to cut and paste paper. Lizerton and I would spend some evenings crafting with self-healing boards, Exact-O knives and a talk-radio program (we will have those again). I have always loved the detail that goes into making cards, so I filled as much time as I could with the craft.

I noticed something interesting about certain cuts and twists and pastes. Through a certain geometric pattern, you could construct a globe that collapses on its equator. Imperfect and round and portable.

The funny thing about this ball is you do not have to choose a side to be on, but pop it open to stand solidly on its imperfectly-rounded surface. And roll with it along the horizon.


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