15/04/2013 § Leave a comment

**Disclaimer: This is a random act of streaming my consciousness (or lack of it).**

Today, I was called off for my shift at work. It is beautiful, I thought, perhaps I will go for a walk. I am subletting my friends’ place at Huron and Dupont. I thought a pass through the Mink Mile would be worth the nostalgic gander. Off I go, hi ho, hi ho…

The kids were in school, the young adults, too. It was bright, it was blue, but make way for hazy faces. I walk by old buildings laces with vines that have yet to use their leaves. Inside, they are taken by faculty and fraternity and I get a little palpitated on how I think or feel about the whole thing. For a moment, I feel cheated of an experience that I rejected from the beginning. In class, I remember being approached by a sorority girl wondering if I wanted to join. They would have monthly socials and secrecy and dependency and who knows what more. They would mingle with the opposites and I couldn’t think of anything other than Eyes Wide Shut or The Skulls. But, I guess I will never know because I said, no. It didn’t fit with how I wanted to be perceived or how I saw myself: someone who fiercely tries to remain independent and away from it all. Passive-Observant. Non-participant. Stranger to it all.

It all. Often I find myself, much like many others, trying to define it or at least justify some of it. It all, is that very motivating force that guides us into directions, to find meaning, to understand-ology (the study of understanding? Perhaps.)

The neuroses inside tells me there is nothing to understand other than how we all figure out survival. To struggle, just so we get those glimpses of something magical, inspirational, conquering the grand things because only we can do that. They, the little creatures, cannot. 

My friend told me of a youtube video that has a dog driving a car. After some very quick research, I found that there are three dogs that have been taught to drive a car in New Zealand as part of a program to prove that rescue dogs are smart, therefore adoptable. My goodness, Porter the beardie-cross is divine. He looks so relaxed and at ease, like he could be driving us to a soccer game or piano lessons. 

Old dogs learning new tricks, just so someone will pick them up and tell them they are loved. My goodness, my goodness, it all seems relative and frighteningly familiar. Perhaps, all that we do really is for the sake of a handshake and a hug. Perhaps we should give out more of those. 


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